Ghosting, Benching, and Breadcrumbing: The Modern Dating Lexicon

My Social Calendar
3 min readOct 20, 2023

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In the modern dating scene, things have changed a lot. Thanks to digital technology and evolving social norms, we’ve got a whole new lexicon of terms to describe the ins and outs of dating. So, let’s break it down and make sense of this new dating language to navigate today’s relationships successfully.

Ghosting: Perhaps one of the most well-known terms, ghosting refers to the act of abruptly cutting off all communication within a budding romantic relationship. The ghoster simply vanishes into thin air, ignoring texts, calls, and even carrier pigeon memos, leaving the other person bewildered and abandoned. Many psychologists consider ghosting a form of emotional cruelty, as it deepens feelings of abandonment and confusion. In any situation, it’s best to address issues and communicate openly, even if the conversation might be challenging.

Benching: In the dating arena, benching is analogous to “stacking your roster.” It involves keeping potential romantic interests on standby, ready to be called into the game when convenient. This often includes breadcrumbing, which leads those on the bench with mixed signals and unfulfilled expectations. If you find yourself benched, consider discussing your intentions and expectations with your romantic interest.

Breadcrumbing: Originating from Hansel and Gretel’s tale, breadcrumbing entails leaving subtle hints or messages that create the illusion of interest without genuine commitment. Breadcrumbs can manifest through texts, calls, and social media attention, just enough to keep someone intrigued but ultimately unsatisfied. Breadcrumbing can be emotionally taxing, as it often leads to nowhere, and it’s essential to recognize when you’re being strung along.

Haunting: After ghosting, some individuals reappear in your life, haunting your digital presence through likes, comments, and reactions on social media. This behavior, while confusing, is a way for the ghoster to maintain a connection without fully re-engaging. It’s important to interpret such actions as a sign of trouble rather than genuine interest.

Zombie-ing: Zombies are ghosts that return from the dating afterlife, often months or even years later, attempting to reconnect. Be cautious of their intentions, as they may feign transformation, but it’s crucial to remember their past behavior and make informed decisions.

Understanding these terms and the complex dynamics they represent is vital for successfully navigating modern dating. The advent of technology and evolving social norms have created an environment where these dating phenomena have become commonplace. However, it’s essential to prioritize open and honest communication in relationships to avoid unnecessary confusion, hurt feelings, and disappointment.

In a world where dating can be as bewildering as it is exciting, it’s crucial to be transparent about your intentions and desires. Being clear with your partner, and with yourself, about your expectations can help build meaningful and fulfilling relationships. This proactive approach ensures that you don’t get caught in the web of ghosting, benching, or breadcrumbing, and instead, find genuine connections in the ever-evolving dating landscape.

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My Social Calendar

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